I am puke
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
