Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
that may or may not have been my penis.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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