maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize