No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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