I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
