the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Your penis caused this!
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