Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
