There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize