So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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