I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
