Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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