His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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