Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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