So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
