and you said cock pushups were impossible
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
