I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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