There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
