The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
