can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
