Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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