Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The adults are the big ones right?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
