i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
