Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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