She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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