Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
