I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
