I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
