i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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