3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
