My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
