Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
