i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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