guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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