so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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