Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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