I heard we made out
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize