you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
