So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
