Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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