Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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