just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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