lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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