Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize