Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
