good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
