I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
