Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
