You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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