wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Oh god it's open bar.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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