This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
