Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
