A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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