I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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