he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
