wakey wakey hands off snakey
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
