Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
operation harelip BJ is a go
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
