I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
