weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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