i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think we might need a safe word for this...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The ass gains better be worth it
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