omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize