He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
