I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
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Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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