That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
