Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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