I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize