I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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